WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY FEELINGS

For we live by faith, not by sight. -2 Corinthians 5:7

This is one of those verses that I have heard a lot, and I am sure I have quoted to other people, but it never really meant that much to me until now.

My mom gave some advice to someone earlier this year that I thought was incredible, and I keep finding myself thinking back to it.

She said, in reference to someone who was telling her how they want to follow God but they just do not feel Him at all, “We walk by faith, not by feelings. So, if you know the truth and you know God’s Word, you start living it and obeying it and eventually you will feel something.”

I think it has stuck with me, and it was the kindness of God that I was in the room when she said it because this year has been a time when, for the first time since my sophomore year of high school, I have not felt like following Jesus. 

I know that I love Jesus, but my heart has not been beating out of my chest to tell other people about Him like it used to.

I know that spending time with God through reading the Bible is one of the most precious gifts in the world to me, but for the first time since I began reading it (sophomore year) I have gone days without reading it. And, even when I decided to pick it back up, it was simply because I knew that I needed to and I would be worse off if I did not spend time with God in that way; not because I felt eager to get to it.

For months I found myself asking God to just let me feel Him again—to make my heart beat out of my chest to know Him better, and to tell other people about Him like it used to when I first met Him and felt so in love with Him.

But as I am writing this, I am realizing how glad I am that God did not answer my prayer of just letting me feel His presence again. Because for the first time, I am getting to know what it is like to walk by faith and not by sight, and my faith is getting to grow stronger than it has ever been before, even when I did not realize it.

I think that sometimes, as I was growing up, the Holy Spirit was presented to me through other people as if He were nothing more than a feeling. But the truth is that the Holy Spirit is a person, and I believe He is present not only when we feel something such as goosebumps or excitement, but also when we feel apathy and He feels distant and we do not really have the desire to live how He says to live.  

I believe that as a good Father and a present Friend, it is not that God has been withdrawing Himself from me; rather, it is that through not experiencing Him exactly like I used to, He has been giving me an opportunity to know Him deeper and in a new way. And, all the while, reminding me to remain steadfast to who He has already told me and shown Himself to be to me.

And now, my faith in Him is stronger, and my love for Him is all the more.

TYJ.

TARA